[PDF] Change Your Brain Every Day Summary - Daniel G. Amen (2025)

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Developing strong communication abilities within interpersonal connections.

The capacity for clear communication is vital across various interpersonal connections, encompassing interactions with your spouse, family members, acquaintances, as well as with coworkers or those in managerial positions. However, Amen underscores that a multitude of problems in relationships often stem from breakdowns in communication. To foster peaceful interactions, it's crucial to master the art of expressing your needs considerately and tactfully, while also being receptive to the emotions and viewpoints of others.

Engaging in mindful listening can prevent miscommunications and enhance relationships between individuals.

Amen emphasizes the significance of listening carefully. Take a moment to reflect on what the other person has said prior to responding in a conversation. This approach effectively prevents misunderstandings, wards off needless disputes, and fosters transparent and sincere dialogue. Echoing the words spoken to you demonstrates your attentiveness to the speaker's message.

Express your ideas with consideration rather than defaulting to blunt honesty.

Expressing every transient idea that crosses your mind may appear straightforward, but it can damage relationships and inflict distress on others. Amen suggests replacing "brutal honesty" with thoughtful communication to avoid unnecessary conflict. Consider if the requirements align with your own objectives. In relationships, valuing honesty is crucial, yet there are times when being overly forthright may prove harmful. He advises initiating thoughtful conversations to minimize the chances of misinterpreting or misconstruing another person's remarks.

When raising children, it's essential to focus on the principles you cherish and ensure that communication is clear and direct.

Dr. Amen underscores the significance of steady and empathetic parenting in fostering the development of a young person's cognitive abilities, which involves establishing definite behavioral expectations, articulating objectives with clarity, and applying prompt, impartial repercussions for breaches of rules. Parents should make their intentions clear from the beginning. Frequent reminders can sometimes provoke feelings of resistance in young people. The ongoing development of the brain also suggests a lack of effective communication skills.

Setting clear expectations, expressing your ideas effectively, and striking a balance between assertiveness and understanding when interacting with children, while also determining specific repercussions.

Amen advocates for a parenting style that underscores the significance of forming a strong connection with one's child and setting definitive boundaries, all grounded in an extensive comprehension of how the brain operates. Fostering enduring improvements within a partnership hinges on emphasizing the aspects you cherish rather than those you deem unfavorable. Children, especially when identified as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, thrive upon receiving praise, acknowledgment, and positive reinforcement.

In your capacity as a caregiver, avoid engaging in detrimental dialogue tactics.

Amen underscores the necessity of avoiding certain harmful interactions with children that might harm the relationship and possibly affect the developmental path of their cerebral growth. For instance, negative labels can slowly diminish the self-esteem and confidence of a young individual, potentially dampening their ambitions and hopes for what lies ahead. Persistently dwelling on the errors made by your offspring can erode their self-assurance and result in behaviors that are detrimental to their achievement. Parents demonstrating a lack of self-discipline often do not establish strict boundaries.

Allowing children too much freedom without appropriate boundaries, failing to supervise them adequately, and insisting on their truthfulness while simultaneously engaging in deceit to safeguard oneself.

Amen emphasizes the significance of setting a positive example, since young minds often replicate the actions they observe. In advising parents on raising children, Amen highlights the positive measures they ought to undertake in addition to the behaviors they should avoid. Your words, actions, and even the subtle cues that are non-verbal can have a profound impact on a child's developing brain. For this reason, parents who are dishonest in front of their kids, or engage in negative behaviors such as name-calling or being overly permissive, can inadvertently teach them to be dishonest and impulsive.

Strategies for improving romantic relationships.

Romantic relationships can occasionally present complexities that test us. Amen suggests that the well-being of our brain's functions is a key element in the joy we experience in our interpersonal connections, an aspect often overlooked in traditional therapy for couples.

Recognizing the crucial role that a healthy brain plays in cultivating fulfilling interpersonal relationships.

Amen emphasizes the connection between brain health and the quality of close personal relationships. He recommends using brain SPECT imaging to examine distressed couples, as it can uncover the underlying reasons for their discord, which may be due to suboptimal brain function rather than character flaws. For instance, it might be difficult for one partner to view the other in a positive light, act without thinking things through, or struggle to manage their anger, which may originate from underlying brain function problems.

Issues related to the health of the brain in one individual may impede the effectiveness of therapy for couples.

Amen suggests that focusing primarily on communication in couples therapy might not accurately pinpoint relationship problems, as this approach often overlooks how the well-being of the brain can influence partner dynamics. Conducting heart surgery without the critical data from an EKG would be akin to a cardiac surgeon working without vital information. To effectively employ traditional couples therapy methods, it is crucial for the couple to first address their cognitive, emotional, and behavioral challenges, especially if they pertain to the well-being of the brain.

Recognizing early indicators within budding relationships and applying the idea often referred to as "the sanctuary" phenomenon.

Amen recommends exercising prudence at the beginning of a romantic relationship to prevent viewing it through an excessively optimistic lens. Discovering love is akin to encountering a rejuvenating haven amidst a barren wasteland. The oasis stands as a haven, providing comfort within an otherwise barren landscape. During prolonged stress, the dopamine increase that comes with the thrill of a new romance can swiftly boost a person's spirits, similar to the joy felt when one triumphs in a bet or indulges in cocaine. As your brain becomes saturated with dopamine, it triggers a state of infatuation that may render you blind to potential issues, similar to overlooking the endangered species at the edge of a sanctuary. As reliance develops, there may be a subsequent decline due to the diminishing increase of dopamine. Your perception of the individual begins to align with their true nature.

Cultivate feelings of affection within your partner by providing gentle caresses, thoughtful presents, and experiences together that create lasting memories.

Amen underscores the significance of the brain's ability to retain memories and how this influences our interactions with others. Our emotions of attraction or aversion towards others are rooted in the connections established with them via our recollections. To cultivate a lasting connection with your partner, Amen suggests implementing approaches that will leave a lasting, favorable, and cherished impression of you in their memory, making the relationship unforgettable. Engaging in frequent tactile interactions like clasping hands, hugging, or exchanging massages can solidify a relationship by initiating the secretion of oxytocin, thereby deepening the bond between individuals. Performing actions that astonish your partner is another option.

Investigating the various phases of romantic affection by examining the neurochemical processes involved.

The complexities of brain chemistry, Amen points out, are closely connected with the dynamics of romantic relationships. Recalling the period when you last experienced falling in love might also bring to mind the surge of dopamine that accompanied the event. At the start of a new romantic partnership, the brain secretes dopamine, leading to sensations of joy and excitement akin to those experienced with cocaine use.

Dopamine plays a role in the early phases of romantic attraction and alters substances associated with happiness.

The initial intense dopamine surge associated with new romance is often short-lived, as noted by Amen. As the relationship matures and endures, a profound sense of contentment arises, coinciding with the thriving of neurotransmitters associated with joy. The initial rush of dopamine precedes the release of neurotransmitters that resemble natural morphine, resulting in sensations of comfort, tranquility, and enjoyment.

Oxytocin plays a crucial role in fostering trust and establishing connections.

Amen emphasizes the crucial function of oxytocin, which is commonly known as the hormone that enhances bonds and fosters trust within various kinds of interpersonal connections. Engaging in social gatherings, experiencing the comfort of human touch, and enjoying intimate encounters can stimulate the production of the hormone oxytocin. He points out that studies indicate oxytocin can reduce cortisol, which is a hormone associated with stress, and lower testosterone levels, which may result in heightened monogamy among males.

Recognizing the unique functioning of male and female brains can improve our approaches to overcoming challenges in our interactions with others.

The brain structures of women and men exhibit substantial variations. Investigations involving 46,034 brain scans by Amen's team have shown that the brains of women are more active in several areas, especially in the prefrontal cortex, which plays a key role in focus and impulse control, and in the limbic or emotional areas, which are linked to mood and anxiety. Understanding the subtle differences between genders is crucial for establishing realistic expectations about their individual strengths and limitations.

Women's increased brain activity not only enhances their capacity for empathy and self-discipline but also makes them more susceptible to depression.

Studies conducted by Amen's team have shown that women's brains exhibit more activity compared to men's, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which is the region tasked with overseeing executive functions. Women typically demonstrate a more pronounced capacity for self-regulation, an increased propensity to work cooperatively, and a more profound skill in understanding the emotions of their peers. However, the heightened vulnerability of women to conditions such as depression and anxiety may stem from their challenges in mitigating persistent concerns.

Other Perspectives

• While recognizing ANTs is valuable, it's important to note that not all negative thoughts are unproductive; some may serve as important signals for real issues that need attention.
• The five key questions approach may not be effective for everyone, as individuals may have different ways of processing and overcoming negative thoughts.
• The concept of "should" can sometimes represent important obligations or moral imperatives, not just internal critics, and the language around it may not necessarily induce guilt or shame for everyone.
• Freud's model of the id, ego, and superego is considered outdated by many contemporary psychologists, and its application to modern adult relationships and business leadership may not be universally accepted or useful.
• The idea that top CEOs have a strong sense of self-esteem and decision-making skills may overlook the complex and varied factors that contribute to a person's success in business, including privilege, luck, and external support.
• Positive thinking, while beneficial, is not a panacea; it cannot solve all problems and may not be sufficient for individuals dealing with serious mental health issues.
• The environment does influence routines and decisions, but individual agency and personal choice can sometimes overcome environmental constraints.
• Removing temptations and designing spaces to reduce interruptions may not address underlying issues of self-control or procrastination for everyone.
• Mindful listening and considerate communication are important, but there are situations where direct and even confrontational communication may be necessary and effective.
• The idea that clear and direct communication is always the best approach in parenting may not account for the nuances and complexities of child development and individual child needs.
• The emphasis on brain health in romantic relationships may oversimplify the complex social, emotional, and psychological factors that contribute to relationship dynamics.
• The sanctuary phenomenon may not apply to all individuals or relationships, as people experience love and attachment in diverse ways.
• The neurochemical processes in romantic affection are complex and not fully understood; dopamine and oxytocin's roles are not the sole factors in relationship dynamics.
• Understanding differences in male and female brain activity is an area of ongoing research, and there is significant overlap and individual variation that may make broad generalizations about gender differences problematic.

Strategies that cover the entirety of mental health.

The dimensions range from wellness to illness across a broad spectrum.

Amen champions a holistic approach that encompasses both psychological and physiological health. He underscores the necessity of taking into account more than mere symptoms to comprehensively tackle a person's complete well-being. A comprehensive assessment considers all aspects of a person's life, including their social connections, spiritual life, and core values, in addition to their physical and psychological health.

When assessing a person's well-being, it's crucial to consider their mental, communal, and existential aspects.

In assessing a person's well-being, Amen underscores the necessity of considering all aspects of their life, including the four essential spheres related to wellness and illness. The concept encompasses both the physical health of the body and the mental health of the brain. The cycle of mental processes includes how a person understands their thoughts, engages in self-talk, and manages difficult feelings, in addition to recalling previous experiences. The social circle encompasses the quality of personal relationships, the ability to handle stress effectively, and the influence that one's social, physical, and digital environments have on their well-being. Having a purpose that transcends personal goals imbues one's existence with deep significance and value.

Understanding that psychiatric symptoms frequently stem from a variety of influences encompassing the four circles.

Amen advocates for a comprehensive assessment when addressing initial mental health issues, including depression or anxiety, which requires a review of a person's brain activity and hormone levels, as well as an evaluation of their psychological state, social relationships, and spiritual fulfillment. The author emphasizes the significance of understanding that these elements frequently interconnect. When an individual's prefrontal cortex malfunctions, it can result in impulsive behavior during conflicts with a partner who is inclined to hold grudges and react negatively, which often leads to challenges within the relationship.

Shifting into a state of mental well-being after experiencing psychological distress.

Amen advocates for a change in viewpoint to acknowledge the neurological foundations that underlie mental wellness, rather than perceiving it as a condition of illness. He motivates people to recognize that problems with their feelings and actions frequently stem from concerns related to the health of their brain, which can be addressed and remedied in a manner akin to the treatment of ailments such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol. By focusing on brain health rather than fixating on mental illness, we foster an environment that reduces stigma and embarrassment, increasing the chances that people will seek the help they need.

Martin Seligman's positive psychology framework plays a crucial role in improving overall well-being.

Amen underscores the significance of nurturing psychological health, highlighting the beneficial aspects of psychology. Dr. Martin Seligman's approach motivates psychologists and other healthcare practitioners to emphasize the cultivation of an individual's strengths and the promotion of happiness, rather than solely concentrating on their problems and deficiencies. The author highlights that by centering interventions on individual strengths, there was a notable increase in happiness and a decrease in depressive symptoms in just a period of four weeks.

Fostering an attitude of thankfulness, valuing the people in our lives, pardoning mistakes, and keeping a positive perspective while focusing on the present moment.

Amen recommends fostering an outlook that emphasizes the positive aspects, which can amplify our feelings of joy through activities such as giving thanks, valuing others, pardoning mistakes, and keeping our attention on favorable results and the present moment. Fostering an optimistic mindset results in the production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which contribute to a sense of joy, while persistent negative thoughts can increase cortisol production, which may result in increased stress and despondency.

The influence of previous traumatic experiences on current behavior and performance.

Amen underscores the influence of our past experiences on the subconscious drivers of our present actions and decisions. Negative and traumatic experiences can be especially damaging because they can alter our brain's architecture, potentially reducing our ability to experience joy, have confidence in our relationships, and maintain a supportive connection with another person.

Confronting and overcoming the twelve fundamental forces that give rise to harmful thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Amen introduces the concept of "Historical Emotional Burdens" as a technique to confront and mend past emotional traumas. The analogy of mythical creatures represents experiences that are distressing, harmful, or frightening, which remain in our memory and can rush into our awareness when certain situations trigger them. He explains that these are not mental issues, but rather complications related to the brain's circuitry. Our brains operate through the formation of neural links, which means that similarities to a traumatic event can trigger a response. Daniel G. Amen has identified twelve specific categories of Dragons from the Past, which encompass experiences such as abandonment, invisibility, or insignificance; feelings of inadequacy or defectiveness; anxiety; trauma; guilt and shame; obligation; anger; a propensity for being critical; sorrow and bereavement; consciousness of mortality; and sensations of hopelessness and helplessness, as well as family inheritances.

Adverse events in one's early years can have a significant impact on their overall mental and physical health.

When assessing the effects of past traumas, Amen recommends considering the difficult or damaging experiences that took place during your formative years. Experiences that negatively impact one's formative years are often referred to as adverse childhood experiences. A higher ACE score is associated with a greater risk of experiencing a range of health problems, both psychological and physiological, over an extended period.

Utilizing the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey can assist in identifying past traumas that may be impacting current medical issues.

Amen recommends beginning to address past traumas by using the ACE survey, which can be found online. The assessment identifies the top ten prevalent origins of trauma experienced during childhood. Comprehending the score from your early negative life events can illuminate the underlying reasons for a range of difficulties you face in life, including addiction issues, problems managing rage, troubles with social connections, or ongoing sensations of isolation.

EMDR therapy is acknowledged for its effectiveness in treating trauma-induced stress.

Amen suggests the use of EMDR as a treatment method to alleviate the manifestations linked to Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Dr. Amen characterizes EMDR therapy as a technique that employs side-to-side eye movements to alternately activate the brain's hemispheres, which in turn diminishes the intensity of troubling memories. While undergoing EMDR therapy, your attention is on a troubling memory as the therapist guides your eye movements in specific patterns, or they may opt to create a rhythmic tapping on your hands or knees to activate both hemispheres of your brain. The rhythmic stimulation aids in reprocessing distressing memories, thereby severing the association with the emotional response.

Grasping the significance of your ancestral background is crucial.

Amen advises his patients to delve into their family histories to uncover genetic vulnerabilities that might impact their overall wellbeing. Conditions affecting mental health frequently possess a genetic aspect, which is transmitted across generations.

Recognizing the role that genetics and epigenetics play in determining your overall health and success.

Amen underscores the importance of understanding the history of mental and physical well-being within your family, while also delving into the expanding field of epigenetics. Your choices, environment, and individual experiences can prompt changes within your hereditary functions, which may affect future generations.

Your behavior, environment, and various occurrences in life can alter your genetic code and influence the hereditary traits of your descendants and future generations.

Amen emphasizes that the food a woman eats, her exercise habits, the environment she lives in, and her daily actions can impact and modify the eggs within her ovaries, and these modifications may be passed down to subsequent generations even before conception. A man's behaviors, whether they are advantageous or harmful, have the potential to switch certain genes on or off, thereby changing the chances that his children will inherit particular illnesses, given that his sperm experiences changes every three months. Recognizing the significance of avoiding this habit is crucial because smoking endangers not only your own health but also has adverse effects on the well-being of your future children, even before they are born.

Being aware of common health issues that are present in your family lineage can aid in their prevention or management.

Amen underscores the importance of understanding your family's health history, both physical and mental, as it may help in foreseeing and preventing possible health complications. He emphasizes that a wide range of health issues, particularly those related to mental well-being like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety, depression, and Alzheimer's, are predominantly shaped by genetic factors. By gaining insight into the common health conditions that run in your family, you can actively reduce your vulnerability. For instance, if you're aware of a familial predisposition to diabetes, you can actively reduce your own risk by incorporating 45-minute daily strolls, embracing a nutritional regimen that nurtures cerebral wellness while reducing sugar consumption, and ensuring adequate sleep.

The intricate relationship between the mental and the corporeal aspects of oneself.

Amen underscores the deep-seated connection between the mind and the body. Issues related to mental health, including depression and anxiety, frequently stem from physical challenges such as disruptions in blood flow, inflammation, brain injuries, gut health issues, deficiencies in vital nutrients, imbalances in hormones, and chronic conditions like obesity, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders.

Recognizing how complications with physical health can influence your mood, behavior, and cognitive abilities.

Numerous people frequently overlook the connection between their physical health and their mental state. For instance, people frequently attribute their emotional difficulties, such as irritability, to stress, financial issues, or troubles in their personal connections, without considering potential physical factors that may be influencing these conditions. Failing to maintain a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and regular physical activity can lead to health complications that significantly affect the well-being of the brain.

Diabetes that is not properly managed may cause damage to blood vessels, slow down recovery, and increase the risk of Alzheimer's disease.

Amen emphasizes the likelihood that persistent diabetes can lead to impaired cognitive function. Improper management of diabetes can damage the circulatory system, resulting in delayed recovery from injuries and a substantially increased risk of Alzheimer's disease onset. Regrettably, half of the American population suffers from prediabetes or type 2 diabetes, a situation exacerbated by our consumption of edibles filled with artificial ingredients, sugars, and synthetic flavorings that wreak havoc on our cognitive functions, emotional health, and overall physical condition.

A persistent sense of tiredness and depression can often stem from hypothyroidism.

Amen emphasizes that an underactive thyroid may lead to persistent sadness, relentless fatigue, mental cloudiness, and sleep-related challenges. This specific condition often remains undetected, especially when it involves female patients. He notes that our daily habits can influence thyroid activity, particularly with excessive iodine consumption or when utilizing cosmetics that could disrupt hormonal equilibrium.

Embracing responsibility for achieving optimal health

Amen frequently underscores the importance of embracing responsibility as an essential pathway to attaining overall well-being, which includes both psychological and physical health. By proactively managing your thought processes, behaviors, and responses to challenging situations, you significantly increase your sense of personal empowerment, he explains. Conversely, living in blame and perceiving oneself as a victim of circumstances or the actions of others will inevitably result in stress, anger, and bitterness, which can lead to a multitude of issues, one of which is a heightened likelihood of experiencing a cardiac event.

Shifting from a perspective that points fingers to one that accepts accountability for personal health.

Amen emphasizes the significant influence that assuming accountability can exert on an individual's life. He clarifies that the concept of responsibility should not be equated with assigning fault. This involves recognizing and utilizing your ability to respond to various situations in a manner that fosters a beneficial and healthy outcome. You consciously decide to direct your attention away from aspects of your life over which you have no control, focusing instead on what you can influence.

Taking complete responsibility for your actions and the outcomes that follow, instead of viewing yourself as simply a victim of events.

Dr. Amen often asks his patients if they would rather take partial accountability for the results in their lives or take full control. By assuming responsibility for your behavior and its outcomes, you can initiate changes in the areas of your existence that you find lacking.

Cultivating the ability to select choices that are advantageous for your present circumstances while also taking into account their future consequences.

Amen advocates for people to foster a more profound and contemplative comprehension of their actions. He references an individual named Andy, who was encountering challenges within his matrimonial relationship. Andy was convinced that his spouse's excessively critical and condemning demeanor was aimed at him, and he attributed it to her actions. The scans of his brain showed reduced function, a common finding among those suffering from alcohol dependency. Amen found out that Andy, a man in his middle years, had established a nightly habit where he would relax by drinking three to four shots of vodka. Despite not viewing himself as an alcoholic, Andy could see the detrimental impact of alcohol consumption manifested in his cerebral health. Alcohol consumption may lead to reduced activity in the prefrontal cortex, potentially weakening an individual's ability to make prudent choices.

Other Perspectives

• While a holistic approach is beneficial, it may not be practical or accessible for everyone due to socioeconomic factors or availability of services.
• The emphasis on brain health and neurological foundations may inadvertently minimize the importance of environmental and social factors in mental health.
• Positive psychology is valuable, but it may not be sufficient for individuals with severe mental health disorders who might require more intensive interventions.
• The focus on gratitude and positivity could potentially lead to the invalidation of genuine emotional pain and suffering, suggesting that individuals can simply "choose happiness."
• The effectiveness of EMDR therapy is well-documented, but it may not be the best treatment choice for all individuals with trauma, and other therapies might be more effective for certain people.
• The concept of "Historical Emotional Burdens" and "Dragons from the Past" may oversimplify complex psychological issues and not account for the nuanced nature of individual experiences.
• While genetics and epigenetics play a role in health, this perspective might lead to fatalism or an overemphasis on biological determinism, underestimating the role of personal agency and environmental factors.
• The connection between physical health and mental well-being is important, but focusing too much on this link may lead to the neglect of the psychological and social dimensions of mental health.
• Emphasizing personal responsibility for health is empowering, but it may overlook systemic issues and barriers that prevent individuals from making healthy choices or accessing care.
• The idea that taking responsibility for one's health can prevent or manage familial health issues may not always hold true, as some genetic conditions are not easily mitigated by lifestyle changes alone.

Strategies for effectively controlling impulses and addictive actions.

A novel program consisting of twelve brain-focused steps designed to liberate individuals from addictive behaviors.

Amen outlines a twelve-step approach aimed at helping people conquer their addictions while emphasizing the preservation of their cerebral well-being. The esteemed 12-step program by Alcoholics Anonymous came into existence before the advent of advanced brain imaging technology and the widespread development of neuroscience. Many individuals have experienced its advantages, yet it frequently does not address the biological and psychological factors that amplify desires and play a role in the persistent struggle to sustain sobriety by increasing anxiety. Addiction impacts all aspects of our well-being, modifying the chemical processes throughout our nervous system and physical form, shaping the way we think, our relationships with others, and our ethical values. A holistic strategy is crucial for sustained success.

Other Perspectives

• The efficacy of a twelve-step program may vary among individuals, and what works for one person may not work for another due to unique psychological and physiological factors.
• The traditional Alcoholics Anonymous twelve-step program has a long history of success and a strong support community, which can be as crucial to recovery as the latest scientific approaches.
• Neuroscience and brain imaging technology, while valuable, are not the only factors in understanding and treating addiction; environmental, social, and personal factors also play significant roles.
• A holistic approach is indeed important, but defining what is truly holistic can be subjective and may need to be tailored to individual needs rather than a one-size-fits-all program.
• Recognizing moments of significant decision-making and predispositions to habitual behaviors is important, but implementing change at these moments can be complex and may require more than self-awareness, such as professional support or intervention.
• The idea that addiction shapes ethical values can be controversial, as it may not account for the moral agency and individual responsibility of those struggling with addiction.
• The text implies that the AA program is outdated, which could be seen as dismissive of the program's value and the personal experiences of those who have found it effective.